I Will Wait For You
by BetterThanRevenge
Summary: Sam finally makes Dean realize how he feels for Cas, which he should have known all along, but now it's too late. *Not beta'd so I apologize for that*
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The day after Cas dies, for real this time, all Hell breaks loose.

No, not Hell as in Lucifer's cage or Crowley's never ending line, but the type of emotional hell we all experience at some point.

The type of Hell that the Winchester's experience far too often.

Sam is sitting in the corner sulking while Dean is mulling about Bobby's salvage yard, looking for things to break & drowning his man tears in booze.

Every so often Dean walks into the house, looks at Sam, opens his mouth for a minute then closes it again before shaking his head & going back to stalking around the house in that kicked puppy way of his.

Sam is getting pretty sick of it to be honest. So the next time Dean wanders back inside, before he even gets a chance to open his mouth, Sam cuts him off.

"Dean, I know it hurts that you lost Cas twice in such a short amount of time, but it only hurts this much because you were in love with him an-"

"I'm sorry, I must be hearing things. Did you say I was _in love with Castiel_?" Dean interjects, like even suggesting such a thing is possibly the most ludicrous idea he has ever heard.

Switching into Dr. Phil mode Sam sighs in his sympathetic way "Dean...you know you were. Now it just hurts that you were too stupid to fess up to him & now you've lost your only chance"

"I wasn't in love with him Sammy."

"Dean you can't be serious! Unless you…oh my God you really didn't realize it did you?" The realization that it might not been as obvious to Dean 'yes prove to me again how straight you are' Winchester finally dawns on Sam.

"There was nothing to realize Sam, since I _wasn't _in love with him. I mean, come on, and not only was he a _dude _but he was also an angel for fuck's sake."

"It was so obvious to _everyone _that I didn't even consider the fact that you hadn't even realized it yet. Dean, I'm so sorry. I should've said something. But even if you didn't realize you loved him, you should know that he was in love with you too."

"Cas was in l-love with me?" Dean blanches, stuttering.

And then Sam has to activate his sassy gay bestie mode, and he really hates doing this but it's desperate times call for desperate measures. "Of course he was Dean. The way he stared at you all the time, you had to have known something was up!"

"I thought he did that to everyone…." Dean says dejectedly.

"No Dean, it was you. It was only you. The same way he invaded your personal space, _only yours._ Cas would have died for you! Fuck, he _did _die for you! More than once! You think he would have done that if he wasn't in love with you?"

"He would have done the same for you Sam and you know it!" Dean's gone from ignorant to defensive in two seconds flat.

"I know he would Dean, but he'd only save me because of you. He knew you needed me more than anything else. Why do you think he grabbed me from the pit? He did it for you Dean! Everything he did was for you! And you're the only person who didn't notice it! Balthazar noticed it, Crowley noticed it, and for fuck's sake even _Uriel _noticed it! How is it that your head is shoved so far up your ass that you didn't even know you were in love with your best friend & that he was in love with you too!" Bitch-face activated.

"Sam, just…shut up."

"No, Dean you need to hear this! It's the only way for you to get any closure! You know Cas was in love with you, maybe you didn't realize it but deep down you _knew. _You had to! Dean, he killed his own brothers for you! He rebelled against Heaven & he did all of it for _you_! "

"Sam, I said shut the fuck up!" With one hard shove Dean knocks Sam back against the wall, getting the hell out of there before Sam can even process what just happened. You could hear the loud rumbling of the Impala from inside, and Sam knew that Dean needed some time alone. Maybe he'd finally realize that how he felt for Cas went way beyond a platonic bromance.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Pulling the Impala off to the side of the road, Dean runs his fingers through his hair.

Dean can't deal with this right now…this 'feelings' crap.

For a while he had suspected being in love with his best friend but he was being a pussy about it & overcompensating with the 'Busty Asian Beauties' so he can pretend what he felt for Cas was nothing more than camaraderie.

But what if Sam was right?

What if Castiel was as in love with him as he was with Cas?

What if Dean had lost his only chance?

It couldn't be over.

It wasn't fair.

He leaned against the hood of the Impala, looking up at the dark expanse of the sky freckled with stars.

"Cas…I don't know if you can hear me anymore, but I have to say it." Dean's whispering so quietly that even if you were right next to him you wouldn't be able to hear what he was saying.

"Was what Sam said true, Cas? Were you in love with me?" Muttering, Dean kicks at the rocks beneath his feet, waiting, as if for an answer.

"I never told you…but you knew right? You must have been able to tell; what with your freaky Angel Mojo & all...I don't always say the right thing Cas…you know I used to be so mad at you…but now I just want you here with me. I don't care what you did any more Cas, I'd do anything to have you back." Heaving up whatever courage he had left, he finally mustered up the strength to say exactly what he felt.

"I'm sorry I never got the chance to say it while you were here, but now you're gone & I'm supposed to act like I'm fine but I _can't, _it all hurts too much. This can't be over. I can live without you, but I'm just going through the motions. Cas…you stupid son of a bitch…I love you."

Sliding back into the front seat of the Impala, Dean looks up at the sky once more before shutting the door.

"I'll wait for you."


End file.
